Father of the Groom Speech

In order to know all about a father of the groom speech, you should sit back and relax in the next 10 or 15 minutes while reading this article. Below we will share the most useful and detailed-enough tips about such a speech – in fact, most of what you need when writing and presenting your father of the groom speech.

While there are very specific things to follow on some parts of it, other parts leave room for personal ideas, research and further conclusions. When on those parts, you need to be open to ideas, you need to make sure it’s all under control and every single detail is also respected. If you don’t pay attention to the small things, the large things (such as how the speech is presented or what it will talk about) will be missed or failed. Most times, it’s about being focused. Not for any other reason, but you want to make sure your son will be proud of his old man. After all, people from your family and guests who will attend the wedding will keep something in mind: and that – among other things – is the way you held your speech. So, I will now invite you to join me on the journey of having this all cleared and specified, so that you become a real master of it!

Order of the groom’s father speech

Maybe like 50 years ago, I could’ve been able to talk about a clear, unique and universally applicable order of the groom’s father speech. While that was true in the previous generations and people knew such things exactly, now it is not the same. What I can say, as a rule of thumb, is that people decide from case to case. I don’t necessarily mean that you, the father of the groom, will get the chance to decide. I mean that the newlyweds have a schedule in their minds and that schedule includes your speech too.

What is most recommended would be that you talk to your son. It’s not a problem and neither a shame to ask him like “Hey, son, when should I speak? Who would be speaking before me”? This would be perfectly normal to ask. Obviously, he will know it exactly and he will guide you to let you know how it’s all arranged. If you’re wondering about whether this is necessary or not, then I must say it is. If you don’t know the order and you have no clue, it’s an embarrassment. Also, in some families, traditions are kept, so you might be the 1^st, 2^nd or the 3^rd, depending on how the family considers this part of the tradition. But remember: order varies!

Father of groom speech structure/template

The structure of the father of the groom speech determines its style. With the right structure and parts well-written and edited, you will have a great one. Now, to fully understand how it’s all composed, you need to see the structure itself and then I am going to present a short and simple template. Of course, the template is good to get you going, but does not guarantee you can handle it all just based on this single template here.

Introduce the speech

No questions here. It’s all very basic and necessary: one needs to make it clear enough and give an introduction. It’s not okay to give a long one, just as long as a couple of sentences would do.

Talk about your son

This one is probably the father of the groom speech heart. Here you are mentioning all the essence, everything you ever wanted to say within the speech. Focus: it’s not a CV and not a diploma thesis presentation. You need to talk about the important positive aspects of your son’s life, mainly related to his marriage.

Don’t try avoiding the bride

It would be a shame to conclude the speech when you’re done talking about your son. The bride, your future daughter-in-law is equally important. Remember: she’s the mother of your grandchildren, so you need to create a great family relationship with her too. So, basically, talk about her!

Conclude the speech and propose the toast

Simple as that. You can give some quotes, final words, whatever you consider. After that, you only need to end the speech and it’s done!

Let’s now check the template. This is a very short example, only to get you started. This article’s essence is not necessarily within the template, so continue reading in case you want to know all details needed!

“Good afternoon, people! I am happy to be here with you to join Mark and Alice in their life-changing decision. I am thrilled by their choices and life, it’s just amazing. I would like to say that my son is helpful, kind-hearted and I see him fulfilled ever since Alice came into his life. So, Mark, I’m truly proud that you became a man by the loving and caring presence of our beloved Alice. My daughter, Alice, I truly respect you as if you were my daughter. I know you love cooking and that you always handle children well. I know you are going to be an amazing mother and wife – which makes me feel even more proud. People, let us all toast for their happiness!”

The right body language

Dealing with the father of the groom speech body language is simple as long as you are informed. If you can’t achieve control over this part, then it’s pretty hard to master it when the right moment comes.

So, what I first want to talk about is being prepared in advance, in time. If you think you are so cool that you don’t even need preparations, then you are going to regret later. For now, in any case, you need preparations. The best way and the best place is at home in front of a mirror if possible. The reason is that seeing yourself when being right or wrong about something is very important. The body language for the father of the groom speech will reveal itself when you speak in front of your mirror, pretending it’s the wedding day.

Obviously, you won’t be happy about it for the first time and that’s exactly what the point is. If you are unhappy with the results of your presentation, you can at least criticize yourself and be able to correct the mistakes.

Most frequently, take a closer look to the following aspects: the way your eyes are looking around, the way your arms are held, the way you stand on your feet, your gestures and then observe if you seem too stressed or not. When being over-stressed, you need to make sure that you take time and relax. Then, it’s also about self-control at all levels. Make sure that you view some YouTube videos to learn how things are properly done. By seeing other people’s body language, you learn faster. Remember: the position of your hands needs to be right, and you need to be natural with your eyes and body position too!

Time frame / length of the groom’s father wedding speech

It’s not a general rule to have some minutes of speaking or not, but there are certain helper opinions which will definitely guide you in an easier way.

The first and most obvious rule is that you shouldn’t get to a point where you see everyone is bored. If boredom came after 2 minutes, it makes no sense that you probably had 4 minutes prepared instead of 8, because people won’t care. However, if you speak for 3 minutes and people loved it, but you can’t make it any longer, it’s perfect.

So then, what is the ideal length or time frame to respect? Anywhere between 2 and 10 minutes will do. It’s all about the content, the way you speak and who the guests are. Observe their faces, reactions, and you will know what to do!

How to write your father of the groom speech. Things to consider

At this point, you may have already understood a few things on how a father of the groom speech is done, and with other things you might still be wondering what to do. Let’s now take a more detailed look into writing the actual, final wedding speech.

First, you are going to need some paper, pen and free time. That’s the beginning – you are going to get started from there and move forward, with a final target of having a speech text which you believe is good enough.

Now, during the first attempts you will find yourself having only shorter ideas, such as words, few sentences or simply the title of a movie or song. It doesn’t matter if those things make you assume it’s stupid: write them all down. By the end of this random write-it-all-down thing, you will have a pretty much confusing list of keywords, ideas, songs, movies, friends’ names. Congratulations – this is your first draft!

Then, you need to elevate the first draft, making sure you can get more of it by adding only the needed parts. Remember above as you have read about the template and structure of the father of the groom speech? Now, try to put down the 4 or 5 parts as sub-titles and then split up all ideas to make sure they get to the relevant parts. This shouldn’t be hard. It’s like asking yourself something as “is this for the introduction or this is already talking about my son”? Don’t over-complicate things, keep them very simple. When classifying ideas into categories, you want to make sure it’s all as simple as it can be.

Having these settled, you have a somewhat more organized second draft of your speech. By this time, while looking at it, you might find some of the notes silly and others missing. Don’t hesitate to add whatever you think should be there, because there is still time to delete or to add missing things later. At this point, you will find it already easier to proceed, because you have solid basis to start with. So, you can still add and remove parts of the draft, because by that you will easily move forward.

Now, your draft should be a bit more organized and filled with pieces of information. When this happens, I recommend you hang out with someone and ask them for some honest opinions on what is there and shouldn’t be or what is missing. These helpful tips will give you a deeper insight on the speech you are preparing. Be open-minded to let anyone handle this and tell you. I mean, don’t be bothered if it’s a good friend, your wife, your cousin or your father. It doesn’t mind who gave you a hint as long as it’s a good one. You never need to respect ideas or tips if they are not good or you don’t find them suitable.

You should also consider the fact that some other father of the groom speeches you might find here or there might give you ideas on the structure or the actual content of your speech. Assuming that you know exactly what and how to write is wrong, you would better keep looking for different sources and finding information all around.

It’s also suitable if you have some books on these topics. They don’t necessarily have to be printed, hard cover books. It’s not that those classic books aren’t okay, but e-books that can be found on Amazon.com or on different other websites are equally good, or maybe even much better. From books you will have your eyes opened for broader and better perspectives on everything. You can always look in various places, making sure that you keep your eyes on new ideas and on things you maybe didn’t even realize before.

Then, you need the structure of the entire speech. Until you didn’t arrange your draft ideas into a structure that is useful for the final version, you still need to work on the father of the groom speech. The structure is very simple, but you need to know it well. The introduction contains a few ideas, generally introducing yourself and the event. After that, it’s all about the groom, making sure you don’t tell nasty stories or things that aren’t suitable for this event. After the groom’s part, the bride must be mentioned as well. Don’t forget to add some ideas to reflect that she’s welcome into your family and now she is like your own daughter. It’s also great if you can allocate the same length of ideas and words to your daughter-in-law as you did for your son. Further, you will need to share some of your own words of wisdom or things you’ve quoted from the internet, finding them suitable for the event. The last part is the toast, which is also very important. Don’t hesitate to make it sound amazing and as a call to action in raising the glasses for the young lovers.

Organizing into the above mentioned structure is easy, but always brings up new ideas. This is when your sentences are rewritten into paragraphs, this is also when you find out that you want to add something more. You might also want to consider that not any length for this kind of speech would work well. What is tricky here is that you need to think about the guests and be able to observe them, especially their reactions to what you say. If you notice they are intrigued and interested, it’s okay to speak for a longer time like 7-8 or even 10 minutes, but if boredom occurs after 2 minutes, you might just want to close the speech when it’s 3 minutes long. But then, you don’t know how to make sure about the length. At home, you can use a stopwatch to measure the time it takes for you to read the speech out loudly. Of course, you need to practice long enough to make sure you know everything without reading. Actually, it’s not too cool if you keep reading things, you might just want to memorize them.

Father of the groom speech examples

Here, I am going to tell you that you can also find examples in various books and on other websites. Checking them all out might take you some more time, but it’s worth trying, because you never know which one would be more to your enjoyment. These are only shorter versions than you could actually present at the wedding, because the idea is that you get the picture and know exactly how to handle things.

Take this short sample for instance:

Father of the groom toast

The best thing about a father of the groom toast is that there is no such thing as a unique scheme or some set of rules to define or classify a toast. Actually, the toast should come from your own heart and let everyone know in a few words or a sentence that you are actually happy for the couple. It is always great if you can take some time to read some toast proposals, even if they aren’t meant for the father of the groom speech. The good part with these things is that you don’t necessarily have to make them all fall under the same category or same style – the only common style is that people must feel the commitment to raise their glasses when you finished saying your toast.

Obviously, if you take a look around on the internet, there have been many books published. Some of the books are only centered on the toasts, and these will give you more ideas to describe how it’s properly done and how it can all be made better. You can take a look in multiple books, because using multiple sources of inspiration is better than sticking to one simple plan involving just one book or just one idea.

Other tips and ideas

When preparing for the father of the groom speech, you might want to know some other tips and ideas to help you with the process. There are multiple ideas to be used in such cases and in multiple situations.

You should always be prepared for things that aren’t predictable. A speech, even when you prepare or when you are holding it is not always as easy as having a set of ideas in your head which eventually become true. So, having flexibility in the way you speak is not as easy as it seems. You need to be prepared with lots of ideas, in the eventuality that if some of the ideas aren’t good or suitable, you can use others. The way you realize if some ideas are good or not is by observing what others say and do while you are already speaking. You can always realize and notice if they are bored, or lost interest, or if they simply are looking forward for you to finish already. If some of these things are observed, you might want to make sure you adjust your speech to how the guests appear to be. There is no such thing as a wrong speech or wrong shortened version – you just let your heart and thoughts guide you if you’ve prepared for 8 minutes but you see bored faces after 3 only.

Another thing is trying not to lose control. The loss of control occurs when you suddenly feel like freaked out and like you have no idea what you are doing. In other situations, you might suddenly feel lost, for instance you might feel like you’ve lost the line of your own speech and remember nothing. If any of these happen, please remember the following:

• You are not at an audition. If you somehow “fail”, it’s not always true that people would notice what and how you failed.
• People simply will keep their eyes on you. If you notice that is happening, it’s not a problem and they don’t have something against you. They just want to pay attention to what you do right (or wrong). Don’t need to panic on that, it always happens!
• It is your father of the groom speech and it’s not for yourself and for your own reputation, but it’s meant for your son to make him feel great. Before deciding to stop or act weird, make sure you make him feel honored, while the bride also feels comfortable with everything you’ve said.

Then, you need to be a great observer. This means, it is definitely true that some people spoke before you did. You can observe them and you can make sure that your speech doesn’t repeat what has already been said. You can even add some jokes, something like you’ve heard how the father of the bride stole your speech idea. Even more, you can speak like “I definitely agree to what Brian said, it’s just fabulous and special how our children found each other and fell in love, deciding to marry and take serious commitments in life. This is wonderful indeed”.

Conclusions

As a conclusion, a father of the groom speech is not really hard to be prepared and presented. Still, there are things that are good to be known and even if these things aren’t finally fixed ideas, it’s still great if you are aware of what is important and how things are. Remember that the length of the speech isn’t fixed and you need to make sure that you adapt it to the way the family and the guests feel. Sometimes it’s good if you ask your son – maybe he planned your speech to be 3 minutes long. If that is your case, you should not make it longer than 3 minutes.

Also, make sure you respect the structure and keep the calm and confident attitude while speaking. Such tiny details can truly make the difference between success and failure!