Writing a great father of the groom speech will be achieved by any father, who dedicated himself to writing based on some appropriate ideas. You can always find new ideas, if you dedicate some time for it. However, some ideas aren’t at all new, because in some things you will just have to return to the basics or to the obvious things you’ve considered as “oh, if I do this or that, I am not successful, because it has nothing to do with my speech”. This was the idea that almost ruined my father of the groom speech. And why could this happen, one may ask? The reason is as simple as the question is. The only real reason for such things to conquer your mind is that people have learned to think complicatedly up to a level that now thinking simply almost seems stupid.
Groom’s Father Speech Ideas from the past decades
Yes, this is probably the part you were afraid of, the return to the basics of what the father of the groom speech really is. This part involves talking with parents, grandparents and generally older people. Of course, you don’t necessarily have to ask them if they agree to the wedding customs we have today or if they agree with this or that. You should rather try finding out how they spoke when their wedding speeches were told. I am pretty sure that every family, be it poor, average or rich, but every family has people who lived other decades when these speeches were probably better known than they are today.
Not every single idea would work, so you’d better simply listen and take notes. Then, from your notes, you will be able to finally decide whether the ideas are usable or not. Your decision should only be influenced by your guests and family members. Learn to stay open-minded, because that is what you need for a great father of the groom speech. Being rigid and believing that your very own conceptions and ideas are the only good ones will only cause a lot of harm.
Taking notes is more than crucial in such cases. You can’t really expect everyone to tell you lovely ideas or things that you will be able to agree with from the first minute. There will be awesome ideas, boring stories and whatever. But, the wisdom of this is that you can always take notes.
Then, these notes will turn out to be of great help later. This is because all of what you have once noted will be of assistance when you want to “filter” the knowledge you feel you’ve gained this far. Maybe some of the notes might seem so lame or poor at the moment, maybe some notes might seem to you as ones that have no real purpose or meaning, but don’t rush in throwing the paper away or deleting the files. Always keep the calm and the patience and only get rid of this or that once you are completely sure about how it is not required anymore. Trust me: the calmer you are (the calmer you can be) in a certain situation, the better it is for you later. Calmness will also be a great exercise for the wedding speech!
Not always easy as a father, but … grab a coffee with your son!
No, I am not talking you into something that women are used to do, neither am I trying to convince you of a strategy that never gives results. It is typical for wedding arrangements, organizing and everything for you to get used to chaos and a lot of stress. These situations might easily make you forget what the basics are and what the most important for your son is. Now think about the details: what is the purpose of all the efforts, if what you did was only for the sake of the guests? You need to think big, by thinking of every small and large aspect and detail of what is actually happening. You can easily achieve that by keeping your heart open and keeping your eyes open, to see the wonders happening and to communicate with the beloved ones.
A coffee with your son is a perfect moment to sense and check the territory. You will have the time to ask your son, to realize and to know what is required, what you should be up to and then all of the details can be settled easily and clarified. The more you clarify, the better it will be for you. Don’t be stressed if some things make you want to say “I won’t ask him about that”. No! This type of mentality has to fall, because communication was, is and will always be key to many things. There are so many cases when failures, stress, divorce, fights and so forth wouldn’t have happened if there was more communication. That is the gravity of what lack can cause!
So, having these things said and acknowledged, you now probably begin to understand why some father-son moments in this huge rush are required. I mean, it’s easy to think and to say that something is hard, or impossible, but let me ask you: have you ever, maybe just once, asked yourself if it wasn’t your imagination only? Wasn’t there some easy solution you just missed, because you were used to other people’s reactions, to movies and to books presenting how “complicated” things are? Think, as it’s easy! Solutions are always right ahead!
When you have a coffee or beer or anything with your son, try to ask him about important things. What is he happy about? What are the things he is afraid of (like what would make him think his wedding day is ruined)? Many answers to these questions will reveal strategies of how you can help him and will also help you to know what to tell him, how to encourage him and how to guide him to allow the process to flow easily. I mean, we have been there already. Humanity needs to learn that learning from earlier generations’ mistakes is a must.
Try to get a sense of what your son’s generation prefers to do with weddings
You can and you should try to be informed of the trends of this generation, which includes your son and many other people as well, most probably the bride too. If you can understand the generation, the mentality, the outlook, the style, the trends and all the details that would probably not match your generation perfectly, then you will know how to handle things. For example, a simple detail would be music. Maybe you would think this melody or that would go perfectly, but you are forgetting that times have changed and new generations came. What you liked isn’t necessarily a standard or a trend of today, even if it was a huge hit in your teen ages. Then, it is also about tastes. You need to know your son. It might happen that he follows the current generation’s trends, or he might be a fan of your generation’s trends.
But this is not even near to everything! You also need to know at least a little bit about the bride and her mentality. As a couple, your son with his bride-to-be will form a new family, a new type of unity. They will have different opinions, different future outlooks and things (couple things) that are really different from what you have currently in your marital life. So, it is necessary and recommended that you invest some efforts and time into understanding these adorable youngsters.
You know, there is probably something general about men and women, regardless of the age. We have at least 2014 expectations every single day. I mean it! Life is, unfortunately, about many expectations. As soon as we learn to understand that, we are steps closer to understanding each other. If you spend time with certain people and you maintain friendship with them, you will learn what different people want from you. Maybe you have a friend who always wants that cup of coffee you can offer him when he visits, and maybe there is that friend who always wants to “test” you if you are following the basketball news. These are only some examples out of millions. So, what I am trying to tell you is that the groom and the bride have expectations. They expect the guests to behave in a certain way, they want a certain type of music, a certain style of wedding speeches and so on. And these expectations are basic for your father of the groom speech. The more you sense them, the better the impact of the speech!
It is also about where limits are. Your generation and every generation would think that their principles and “limits of good sense” are applicable for any generation. Well, that is so wrong! People need to be open-minded enough to understand the differences between each other. The environment surrounding you, the people whom you talked with in your teen and youngster ages – these are all influential factors for how you are, what you think, what you want and basically everything. So, it is great if you stay open minded and you don’t force your “old” limits into newer generations. Let them enjoy themselves and each other!
Your wife, your daughter, your son – family is a golden help
This is a part where my manly pride almost hijacked me. I mean, literally. I have my wonderful family, my wife, 3 sons and a daughter. Then, when my oldest son married, my wife, my 2 other sons and my daughter wanted to help me with the father of the groom speech, and also with the things that were necessary for organizing. As a man in control (that was what I thought back then), I told them that I can handle these things alone. Then, a week before the wedding of my son, I realized I needed their help and I needed every bit of it.
So, don’t be fooled by your own ego the way I was! Even if you “can’t” handle certain things (you don’t have enough energy, time, or desire), you can always count on the precious help of family members. You will always be surprised if you will see how they can help you, how their assistance will change everything into the best.
Also, even if you don’t have daughters, your wife, your mother, your sisters can all help you. Women are great with decorations, flowers, books, movies and poetry. And you probably know that all of these aspects are great to be used in a good father of the groom speech. How exactly? Women can explain – that’s for sure! After all, it is about making your son and his bride happy.