Writing the father of the groom speech is great and it’s a true honor, but we are often confronted with the reality: we lack the inspiration for it. Did you ever feel something like “now is my moment” or something that told you “I can do it right now, it will only take 20 minutes”, but then when you actually started writing, you had no clue after 2-3 sentences? So, as described here – situations like that often happened to fathers, and mothers too.
Which are the best sources to be inspired? Is it necessarily by reading something from some source, or is it social interaction? Let’s find out!
What was wrong before can tell you what is right from now!
If you study former wedding speeches, especially ones that were failed, then you will have ideas about how to handle a new father of the groom speech. There are typical mistakes such as:
- Certain jokes are wrong. You can’t just use any joke crossing your mind, for a real father of the groom speech. Things like that never work! So, it’s better if you know the right jokes!
- Expressing feelings in exaggeration will always ruin a speech. We all have emotions, and when a wedding is coming, we all have even more of them. Still, these emotions can influence us negatively by not allowing ideas to flow, body to relax and therefore ruining the first impressions made. So, how can you handle this? While you will have many emotions, don’t show them so much! You can say a word or two, but don’t keep speaking about how you feel now. Focus on the couple instead – it’s their wedding.
- Too short speeches aren’t enough. Some people thought a wedding speech is only a “hi folks” and a “let’s toast now”. No, it’s never enough! If you don’t speak for at least 2-3 minutes, which means speaking also about other topics than a greeting and a toast proposal, then your speech is short. A short speech, in this context is wrong! However, 2-3 minutes of well-organized speaking is just about right.
- Long stories make the guests become bored. If you begin relating an entire curriculum, such as every moment from the birth of your son until today, people won’t even care about that. They didn’t come to hear just how great your son is, and how many past jobs, past girlfriends and past cars or rental apartments he had. The people who honored the couple by coming and attending the wedding are interested in the love story and in the decisions that the couple made before they finally got married. So, by knowing this, you can focus on speaking about the essence instead of speaking about every single matter running through your head.
- Shaky voice – don’t attempt it! When you speak and you give your father of the groom speech, if you’d have a shaky voice, people would think you are weak, coward and they won’t even listen to your words, not even if you had a great speech. Instead, you need to speak with a confident voice, showing everyone that you have a father’s attitude and you are confident enough to speak about the wedding and the couple’s lives. As long as you show it, people will believe you.
- Confused or random body movements. Many speakers have great speeches, but still their body movements are awkward, random and not in any way connected to the actual message. In addition, if you don’t have precise body movements or let’s better say controlled body movements, you might even distract yourself from transmitting the message. So, you need to be in control, be relaxed and speak accordingly with precise body movements as needed.
The list can probably continue for at least 10-20 more pages, but you can now have the clear picture about what kinds of things can go wrong. Knowing what’s wrong, you know it’s easy to improve!
Find the right books that truly inspire you
Maybe not every man is for reading books, and I know it, we all know it. Still, in some situations, there are very good solutions and very good pieces of inspiration found in certain books.
Now, some books talk about action, horror or even comic situations. Maybe those aren’t the best books to get inspired from, especially not for the father of the groom speech. But you also know there are hundreds and thousands of romantic, erotic, drama and books with other genres. Some of these topic books can help you get new ideas and speak about certain things for your son’s wedding. While many of the modern world ideas are great, they are often overused. However, an older book might hide some amazing ideas which haven’t been used yet in the 21st century, so you can be one of the first people to use some of those ideas now.
Still, you need professional guidance to find a right book. While there are many great books, with interesting characters and very interesting or challenging points of view, you need to be careful and selective. While some books are truly about the way we can conduct relationships the right way and about how to have a healthy marriage, other books are from the perspective of double-faced people, who just tried to write any invented story to make sales. Who knows what the author really knew versus what they pretended to know? That’s why it’s always good if you can enter the library, and ask the librarian, telling them about your intentions. I am sure they will be able to give you the proper guidance, showing you some of the books that are helpful.
For some fathers, it’s not the general books that provide new inspiration, but the books that are very specifically about wedding speeches. If this is your case, or if you believe it would be easier, it’s not a problem! All you need to do is to read some of these books, keep what is good and disregard the rest. After you’ve done that, the rest is up to you: a great wedding speech can be written easily!
Do you have friends who had their sons’ weddings?
If you have friends who have been through writing and presenting a father of the groom speech, then you should definitely catch up with them, meet and have a talk. You never know which one of them was confronting with the same difficulties you are, and since he already knows how it all went, he can tell you what the good ideas were and what he regretted to have kept him back before the wedding day came.
Also, there are fathers who clearly remember their speeches, like even if not word-by-word, but at least they know the main ideas. If you can have the patience to listen to them and they have the time to tell you the speech (or give it to you in case they have it on paper or in electronic format), then you have a real sample of something that worked the way it worked. You can obviously improve that, change the ideas, the structure – whatever you wish. However, you need to know the basic guidance and that can be found out by asking these people for their experiences.
Such discussions are also helpful due to the other difficulties you encounter before the wedding. You see, it is often that due to the many things that are related to organizing the actual wedding, you begin lacking inspiration and you don’t really have the time for it either. As people who have been there and done that, you can rely on their suggestions and ideas of improvement. It is obvious that it wasn’t easy for them either, but you can always think clearly after the stress is gone and you can keep looking back from the perspective of now, realizing what went wrong and learning from it.
What does your wife say about this? What are her ideas?
While your wife also has a speech to prepare, she might have ideas for your speech and you might have ideas for her speech. Obviously, the father of the groom speech is not the copy of the groom’s mother speech, but if you consult with each other then you have the added benefit of not speaking about the same things. It is always good if you can have complementary ideas, and you speak about some ideas and your wife about others. That way, you’d both have your own unique speeches and you’d not imitate each other!
What ideas can your wife tell you? Ask her and also tell her about your current ideas. Be prepared to listen to criticism as well, because if your wife tells you something is not right for a speech she might be right. Men are not always made for public speaking, but women have a special gift or talent on that side. So, if you know that your wife handles communication and speaking in front of people well, then you can rely on her suggestions. Of course, this is not like a monologue, but it’s a dialogue. You can tell her if you disagree about something, but be kind with her. Just because you are the man in the house doesn’t mean your wife can’t have better ideas than you.
Try helping each other by motivations and unique ideas. As people, we many times find it easier to help someone else than helping ourselves. So, you will probably not have any difficulties in helping your wife to write her speech, and in return she will help with your speech as well. Collaborating in such ways is pleasant and constructive.
Love songs can also inspire you
There are probably thousands of love songs just from the past few decades. Whether it’s rock, jazz, funk, hip-hop, R&B, disco or any other style, there are various artists who have produced their versions of love songs. The song instead, without the lyrics, might not tell you anything specific for the wedding speech but if you take time to analyze the lyrics, you might be positively shocked about the multitude of ideas you can find there.
Certainly, you won’t agree with the lyrics of every single song. Still, while you disagree with some, others will leave you with very positive impressions. Use the good lyrics by either quoting them or writing something of your own. By writing I don’t mean writing a love song, but writing some thoughts about marriage, love and relationships, all for the sake of a professional father of the groom speech.
You can also ask some of your trustworthy friends if they know any good love songs and you can even join public forums to ask the same questions from random strangers. It’s both the close friends and strangers who can share the best ideas ever!
Listen to people who have been asked about their successful long-term marriages
There are always older couples who are so cute together, and their marriages lasted for decades without going through a divorce or any other stormy event. There are certain reporters who sometimes ask these couples for some advices about marriage and a healthy love life on the long run. You can listen to such interviews, which can be found via written material, article sites which have both video and text or simply TV or YouTube. The source doesn’t matter as long as the story is real.
Once you find about the basic ideas and keys to the success of a great marriage, you can take them for yourself too but also include these in the father of the groom speech. A word of advice is never wrong, and the guests might also be touched, as well as the couple. Also, as a father, it’s your duty to tell the couple how they can maintain their marriage even when some difficulties would arise (lack of money, lack of a good car, etc.). There are so many things today that can cause couples to argue and fight, but if we’d analyze solutions, it’s never complicated to solve any of these.
As a result, you won’t have the part of the speech with advices in a bored way, having your own words and own wisdom. Since many of the guests know you personally, they will also feel that you have documented yourself about the things you mention now at the wedding. This is all positive and will leave many people surprised in a good sense. So, don’t hesitate to use such unique resources, even if others didn’t use them before!